What does The Work Mean to You?

Kendel

Re: What does The Work Mean to You?

Postby Kendel » Fri Mar 06, 2015 4:00 pm

Harry, I also used Nicoll's Commentaries for years as daily readings - in strict sequence at first, so I could become familiar with them; then more "at random" later, depending on my feelings and thoughts on the day. Some years ago my daughter bought me a new set with a sixth volume, the index. I found that really helpful because I could systematically explore a topic, have a conversation with myself about, say, self-observation etc. So I'd strongly recommend having Volume 6 to anyone reading the Commentaries.

hroeder
Posts: 267
Joined: Mon Dec 16, 2013 11:38 pm
Contact:

Re: What does The Work Mean to You?

Postby hroeder » Sat Mar 07, 2015 10:07 pm

I have an index to Beelzebub and it was very important at a time.

Computers and digital files have deleted some of that ordinary work.

Kendel

Re: What does The Work Mean to You?

Postby Kendel » Tue Jan 03, 2017 8:41 am

i'm trying to re-connect with what was surely a truthful and needed impulse to connect with a group, to work with others. What has surprised me since making the decision to try, and since being graciously accepted, has been my fear of and resistance to actually going further. After my first post, a kind of obdurate (but underneath, very fearful) resistance has cut in each time i think about coming on and engaging in discussion. It's something to do with a sense that this is for real; what's demanded is a sincerity that would leave me ... exposed, is how i think of it. i would come to find out just how serious i am - or not. Feels a bit apprehensive; i'm finding that parts of myself would rather postpone - what? Not even sure.

And i'm wondering if this happens, has happened, to others as well when first coming into group discussion forums.

Wondering too if i'm being absurdly self-indulgent even posting this. Wondering if it contributes anything worthwhile. Thinking that i should be pinning myself down more to regular, structured effort as i've done in periods - though these periods always drift away and i go 'dry' for a time, sleep too long and then come to, wake up again with a feeling of ruefulness that yet again i fell asleep, drifted. And yes, mentally i accept that this is inevitable - but it's ... i don't want to write words like 'dispiriting' and 'wearying'. Too self-indulgent.

It's time to hold myself more steadily to my morning preparation and take it from there. i feel like saying thank you for listening. But i truly would like to know if others have felt that panic and resistance just after joining an online discussion forum and if so, what they did and what helped them to go past that.

Thanks.

Brian
Posts: 123
Joined: Mon Feb 16, 2015 9:12 pm
Contact:

Re: What does The Work Mean to You?

Postby Brian » Tue Jan 03, 2017 9:58 am

Kendel,

I am not qualified to give advice, but here are some brief thoughts: I rarely look at these threads in the visitor's forum, so I think the fact that I came upon your post this morning is a small serendipity. Thank you for your description of your feelings of apprehension and your sense of self-indulgence. I am sympathetic to your feelings. (I could have written your post. And, I suspect anyone in the work could have - at least at some point on their journey.) Yes, "s"elf indulelgent is a good description, keeping in mind what " self" with lower case implies. (I wonder if we can be "S"elf indulgent?)

Perhaps a little useful mechanization of daily routine may get you over the hurdle. Remember that thoughts that hold you back have to be destroyed, or, if possible, used. And, remember the " terror of the situation. "

Good luck!

Brian

Kent

Re: What does The Work Mean to You?

Postby Kent » Wed Jan 04, 2017 10:18 pm

Kendel,

I think you nailed it yourself, its just a fear and i am thinking it is just an imaginary fear but it still feels real, yes, everyone has this in someway. Brain i think nailed it also, we need at points in our work to come back to understanding or even just knowing about the terror of the situation we find ourselves in. We could call this another exercise, an exercises in thinking the right way as to help our impulse consciousness.

Gurdjieff gave lots to think about in this regard and "think" i think is the right word, its not just about learning by rote what we read but we need to think about it. You could explore the idea of man being incomplete and only having one body out of four which when we die if we attain no other body its over for you, there is no reset, no restart, this is the only chance that we know of that we will get a chance at becoming a normal three brain being. If we stay as we are thats it, its over, just to dust.

Another area you could read about and ask questions if you dont have any information is the idea we need to become a good egosit at first. That everything we do is for us and no one else, in this regard dont worry about no one just yourself. Post what ever you like without thinking about others. The Paris meeting speak alot about this. If you dont have a pdf copy you can find one on line and do a word search in the find button, search egoist or just ego.

Another way to work with this fear is use at as intentional suffering, your machine is afraid, Kendel is afraid not you so when you have that fear oppose it, do what the fear doesnt want to do, this will bring a moment of self remembering, keep doing it, use it, first separate from the fear, separate from the machine , the self, then oppose it, this is what develops us. No one here is going to judge you and if they do, again does it matter you are doing it as a good egoist which gurdjieff taught his students to be.

Anywho, all the best and looking forward with having discussion with you.

Cheers
Kent

Kent

Re: What does The Work Mean to You?

Postby Kent » Thu Jan 05, 2017 12:35 pm

Sorry i would just like to add that being a good egoist also needs some external considering, it doesnt mean that we just blast off and have no control, i think its about being an egoist on the inside and on the outside we externally consider.

Also I think we all need to be brave, brave to ask questions, brave to answer questions, brave to put ourselves out there, naked for a moment. Our egos always want to be right, be the top dog, its the fear of the ego to look small but it is imaginary, what is more important? to feed the ego or destroy it, we must look at ourselves and see what is afraid then if it is the ego we must squash it, kill it. But always be brave.


Return to “Forum for Visitors”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest